So I dyed my hair "espresso." I think it might be a little too Morticia Adams-ish for me. I feel like I should be wielding chinese throwing stars or smoking some ornate opium pipe.
Maybe I'll interview as a gravedigger. Is that still a profession, or did that die in a wave of Dickensian glory? I should practice my grave-digging Dickenspeech, "Ello' gov'ner, would you like a shoe-shine or perhaps an impromptu gravesite? I kin' make a right nice shallow hole with me jagged teeth and frostbitten appendages! And for a tuppence, I'll hop in there wif im'!"
My subtle and tactful sister Andie said that I looked like Christina Ricci. She knows full well that I think Christina Ricci looks like a bloated alien baby. She is on my s**t list.