Friday, January 27, 2006

I have deleted previous post. Apparently vicodin and cheap Shiraz do not a happy Ali make. What a weird post that was. So sorry if you missed it. I confessed every dirty secret I have been harboring since my arrival at UT....example: my body is covered in scales! Hence my lack of ass-getting ability. I would slice you in half with my razor-sharp gills if I ever made "the love" with you. And don't even get me started on my sexy exoskeletal calves.

I am currently watching the movie "Jack," starring the unnaturally hairy Robin Williams. How is he convincing as a prematurely aged 10 year-old child? He has fucking muttonchops for chrissakes. I mean, the man's follicles should be donated to science immediately. He needs to get in a fucking glass case in the natural history museum already. I mean c'mon, have you seen "Cadillac Man," it's freakish. Really.

Cosby is in it too. I know this is supposed to be a tear-jerker but I just keep thinking about Robin Williams humping everything because he has the body of a 30 year old virgin. Including his little "friends" tommy and timmy and tiny or whatever. He also has a crush on his teacher....Jennifer Lopez!!! This movie is a gem. I would recommend to anyone who ever thought pedophillia could tug at the heartstrings.


Anonymous said...

Dear Ali,

Thank you for not quitting your blog.

I love you.

Ali Fitzgerald said...

I love you too B. I can't believe you're engaged though. Are we really going to have the bachelorette party in Vegas? PUH-LEASE.