Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Well, after 2 years at UT I am about as worthless as Janet’s sunburst nipple-armor, I don’t do (or cover) anything, I just look purty. I’m actually taking some liberty with the whole “pretty” characterization as hygiene is an archaic exercise in um…doing stuff. You know with the heaving and shoving of the soap, hair product and whatnot (whatnot=delicious, delicious water pressure). Today I went across the street to the library and I think the attendant thought I was a diabetes riddled mental patient. I was sweating profusely (on account of my out-of shape-itude as mentioned above) and on the verge of crying---of course that was because I had acrued $1171 in library fines. No that is not a joke. No, that is not an exaggeration. Apparently, my effort to renew my 12 books online did not go through. However, I escaped my cruel, unfair fate as she succombed to my natural charisma and eyeliner, encrusted overly mascara-ed glare. This bitch ain't payin' shit. Specially not for no fancy, la-dee-da wordbooks. Anyway, the point of my earlier rant was that I think I should be more active, you know SEXUALLY. No, that takes stamina, abdomen muscles and a very specccccial Yankee brand candle (desperation scented!) No, I should really take some kung-fu classes or something. Plus, then I could kill people too. First on my list: Ellen Pompeo of "Grey's Anatomy." You are one annoying lil' pussy Dr. Grey. P.S.---On Thurs. there is going to be some sort of rant-fest at the New Gallery. I shall be there with a very long scroll and a trumpet. Although trumpets really suck don't they? Orchestral rant!