If you're going to San Francisco, you're gonna need some flowers in your hair,
If you're going to San Francisco, Ali's gonna be crunk and in drag with a green beer,
Bye. I'm going to San Francisco to see my tall athletic friends Alex and Flowerree. I hope they don't make me do the stairmaster, or walk up those damn windy streets (their legs are GIANT! Sidenote: When we were in Spain I used to ride Alex like I was a crazed matador, she's that tall. Also, she used to jokingly push me in front of vespas because she doesn't know her own strength. Freak.) I bet all their furniture is comically oversized. I guess I'll sleep in a mouthwash cap.
Actually, I think I'll just plant myself in Chinatown and buy ginseng hypodermic needles and questionable rotating meats. Also, I desperately want to spit off the Golden Gate, and gorge myself with Ghiradelli chocolates. But not rice. I don't want any of their fancypants Caleee-fornnn-eeeea rice. Uncle Ben would have my head.