Tuesday, September 05, 2006

It's my blogiversary! Well, it was around this time last year when I put down the poison-dipped paintbrush with accompanying asp, and picked up some salvation in the shape of a computer key.
I decided at that minute to unleash the very worst of me onto the world wide web. Let that fucker deal with it. Fucking AOL ticker, always mocking me with his infernal ticking and whatnot. Listen AOl, I don't want to know why men fall asleep after sex. Actually, yes, yes I do. It's because of muscle mass? You're so smart AOL! :):):):)
Anyhow, now I am a blog princess with a wee little throne and many handsome Malyasian online suitors. At least they claim that they're handsome...Zoinks!

**I don't know what "zoinks" really connotes, but I insert it into uncomfortable conversations all the time. For example:

"Ali, why don't you clean your studio?"
A: "Zoinks!"

"Ali, are you STILL watching Oprah?"
A: "Zizzzoinks!"

"Ali, are those your hands down your pants?"
A: "Zoinks!"

You get the point.
School has begun again. I am a pseudo-professor now with my own pseudo-class. I give them pseudo advice in hopes that they will pass (note the rhyming please; I also wear a striped top hat to class and make silly faces while we all play Jumanji).
On the painting front: I am making a rather heavenly piece about artistic impotence. It stars a group of chess-playing-Viagrans and some rather virile male performers. I also threw in a fairly naughty lioness with a penchant for sniffing out...the um...male spirit. Interestingly enough, this painting has cured my own artistic penile-paralysis. Yay.
**How many times have I mentioned the male member in this blog entry? Apparently my blog's anniversary is also a celebration of everyone's johnson. Geez. Hmmm...sounds like jizz.

**I am a gutter rat swaddled in my own dirty habits. Forgive me.

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