Burning, Smoking, Fiery (um maybe more lukewarm and ashy) questions that I have about life in general:
-Why do people participate in the obligatory-hug-experience when they know it commits them to obligatory hugs for life? Why don't they just say no? Or do what I do, wear chain mail with arsenic-tipped skewers that impale the offending European/aunt/ex-boyfriend/token hippie transient who sells you leathergoods.
-Why do people wear "peasant shirts"? I like my Renaissance Fair to stay at my Renaissance Fair. It makes it more special.
-How does Snoop Dog still have street cred? I mean come the fuck on, the man was in a Ben Stiller movie.
-What in the hell is "Black Snake Moan" about? That movie looks like the festering collective fluid from the union of
"Deliverance," that Kathy Bates movie where she breaks the guy's arms, and "From Justin to Kelly: the American Idol Movie."
-Speaking of "American Idol," here is a question: why are people still voting for Sanjaya? And why is he a romantic obsession for pre-adolescent girls? I mean, I agree that you should shoot for the stars girls, but how should I say this? Sanjaya has a different sexual appetite...that's right, he's a molarphilliac. He likes teeth. A lot. Past entertainers with this affliction include Regis Philbin, Hilary Swank and the Osmonds. Side effects include chattering when aroused and an insatiable desire for auto-erotic asphyxiation via floss. If you think you might have a problem go to A.A. (Aquafresh Anonymous).