Saturday, May 26, 2007

"I have a very 'can you start my orange' outlook on life."
-Janeane Garafolo

I am watching Janeane do some early 90's stand up right now. She just did a bit about Hootie and the Blowfish and the Dave Matthews Band. And she's wearing an open flannel shirt with cut-off red corduroy shorts. My god, why doesn't this woman star in an hour-long medical drama? How can she not have a morning talk show, or a buddy-comedy sitcom with the now defiled Elizabeth Hasselback? I. miss. her. And not just because we share a love of the F word and carefree hair care.

Ok, I forgot to mention that I went to "Hippie Hollow" last weekend with Arturo and Becca. It was uhhhhhhmazing. I think I'm going to change my name to Moonstarpenisgaze after the many lovely visages I saw. A new Flickr account to start soon.

*For non-austonians, "Hippie Hollow" is a watery place where it's ok to get down wit' yo body.

Also, I got a deep tissue massage today. I'm bourgie, I'm limber and I don't give a fuck. Afterwards, I saw the bill for getting my windshield wipers fixed. D'oh! There goes my corporeal buzz!

The job front is looking fairly sad (despite one lingering possibility). I am, however, considering the following jobs (which I should be working on instead of writing a second blog entry):

-art director for vampire movie
-front desk person for Red Roof Inn
-paid intern for documentary about Texas History (I just puked in my mouth a little)
-freelance food writer for the "Onion." Please god yes.
-telephone harasser for the Austin Lyric Opera
-scenic artist for pretty-people-parties
-radical feminist literature seller at BookWoman. Blah, I'm over it.
-teacher at some sketchy school called "austin discovery"

Please, those that know me best (or worst, whatevs), suggest something awesome and money-makeish for me to do with my seemingly endless stretches of time. I know this is boring and self-serving, but that's what blogs are silly!


damn said...

I dont know you at all and I think you should reconsider this whole " getting a job phase" you're going through. Start dedicating your time to building a haven for the hanger outers of the world. Yes, medical drama/romantic comedy " can you start my heart" sorry that was totally just for me.

Ali Fitzgerald said...

Well, obviously starting an artist/bum sanctuary is my true calling. But then, I think it might get all Jim-Jonesy. And that would not be cool.

Damn said...

Yup. Cherry Kool-aid good. Killer Kool-aid not so good.

Yeti Detector said...

Very interesting observations. I've traveled a bit in Europe, mostly the UK where I was the only Yank in a British metal band that snatched me up in Austin, TX.

You've got a real handle on this whole mess! Hope you like messy hotcakes from a spoon, that's all I found in Europe at 3 in the morning.