Friday, May 25, 2007

Robot Prom and Schlitterbon.

Lessee, now that I have partly assimilated into post-grad school life (full assimilation actually requires a job), I will no longer write in complete sentences. K? No more wordthings. Wordthings = stabbing pain. Ali hurt in top place when think about sentence construction or reading comprehension. Ali go instead to Schlitterbon Water Park, where everyone splash in yum-yum speedo wonderland. New Braunfels, Texas yes!

True story: for the past 3 years I have been trying to find a Schlittermate to accompany me to that glorious, glorious (vaguely diaper smelling) place. No one has been that person...yet. I was going to do a whole water-themed call to arms here, but it really doesn't matter, does it? You and I both know the best place to get seven dollar pizza and an ass sunburn.

Ahem, I have a couple of job possibilities in the air (clears throat, adjusts balls, smirks with conviction). If I get either of these jobs, dear readers you will the be the first to know. If, for some reason those blind mofos have no foresight or good taste in hireees, then you will also be the first to know. Along with my ego, which will have to face some serious truths I think...naw, just kidding. I'm a baller and no one else's opinion matters.

Something you should see: the fight between Rosie and E. Hasselback on the View. Genius. Genius. Genius. Ballers, both of them.

P.S.: Those Care Bears do have extra hair, just to clarify. They demanded it from me as their creator.

P.M.S. :I'm not sure if the 5x7 sold Shannon, I try to avoid the art paparazzi at openings and so was not able to get close enough to the piece as so many camera flashes were going off at once.

P.Menopause: Thank you for updating your blog Karri, you really took my advice to heart as you updated it seven times within an hour. Here's my next request, please transcribe the "Walker, Texas Ranger" theme song and post it. Inquiring minds want to know where the eyes of Texas really are. Holy Shit, they're behind me, YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

*Ali was impaled by a cattle-branding iron and swallowed whole by Chuck Norris.


Jasp? said...

So this whole time I assumed Rosie was married to a professional surfer. Had no idea she was a "lesbian" although I kinda had a hunch about the "big fat" thingy. Great spat

Karri Paul said...

Count me in for Schlitterbahn. Seriously.

I really updated it seven times? Oh, if I post an entry and then proofread and then repost, does it somehow register multiple times? How embarrassing. I awlways do that!

That's the drawing, btw, that I wanted to ask you to do a trade with me for. I didn't mention it to you, though. That would be too logical. Let me know if you'd do a trade con moi, okay?

(from memory, linebreaks & Capitalization mine)

for Ali

In the eyes of the Ranger
The unsuspecting stranger
Had Better know the Truth
Of wrong from Right

'Cause the Eyes of the Ranger
Are upon you.
Any wrong you do
He's gonna see.
So, when you're in TEXAS,
Look behind you
[In a whisper]'Cause
That's where
the Ranger's
Gonna Be!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Yes-trade! Sorry I've be slack about writing in da blog. I'll call you this weekend about schlitterbahn (I misspelled it!!!)


Karri Paul said...


Shannon said...

It sold. Damn, I need to read this blog more frequently. I only get over here every couple of weeks or so. Thanks for the shout out to my patheticness. ;)