Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Today I:

-Ate a 12 lb. burrito for breakfast and spent the rest of the day lamenting it. Burritos are gross and resemble a big log of chum.

-Haggled with 20 different people about my potential health insurance. Bureaucracy thou art my nemesis! I'm going to call your friend and tell him you suck and then he's going to tell his girlfriend's mechanic who will tell his spiritual advisor who will report it to her cousin's gyno, who will relate it to his goth-rock daughter....and well, eventually the shit-talking will get back to you. In time. Your time.

*That just resembled a Sprint commercial or something. Buy Sprint!

-Fell into a cactus (right after my health insurance scare). Oh but what a death that would be, worthy of any romantic poet or rodeo clown.

-Read all the "casual encounters" on Craigslist. People are so awesome and weird.

-Went to Spider House (where I am writing this from). It's been a while...I missed the sensous whipping of strangers' dreadlocks on my back and the public games of hackey-sack (there is actually one happening right now. ACTUALLY.) I think the hackey-sack has Jerry Garcia's face incised into one side. The other side just says "heeeeeeeeeeeeeey."
Sigh, if only. But really, there is a hackey-sack game taking place which is the important thing.

-Turned in mah grades. Not divulging anything there, t'wouldn't be right. They all did well and I'm happy but bloated with exhaustion and post-pregnancy skin sagging.

-Omigod, Spider House just put on Bjork's "Human Behavior." This is so edgy I can't take it.
I think my anti-hipsterism really makes me the ultimate hipster. I'm shuddering now with a self-loathing that only reinforces my status as a pukey non-conformist hipster-hating super hipster. Shudder. lop-sided hair shudder.

*Even I don't understand what I meant by that last statement.
*I am going to go to the sauna everyday to achieve more clarity of purpose so I can serve you fine people.

God, I need to think of more substantial things to discuss than myself. How about that wackiness in the Middle East? That's cwazy, huh?

1 comment:

dr. said...

If I was your doctor I would advise you to wait at least 24 hours after eating a chum log before leaving your house or communicating online.