Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I hate resin. I'm convinced it's giving me the throat cancer, it never dries on time and now I have it all over my new pants...I could compare the stain to another fluid in that the similarities are striking, but I am bringing substance back to my blog and furthermore, I am a refined, shiny lady. Like a dried piece of resin. Or that bug encased in Amber in Jurassic Park.

Hmmm...that didn't make a lot of sense. But whatever, my mind is cloudy like the gallon of boyjuice on my pants.

More about my pants! My new pants are a rather small size, I'm skinny now bitches! I don't ever recall wearing a small size in my life. Most of my adolescence was spent in giant Nirvana tees and mom slacks from Lane Bryant. And who do I have to thank for my weight loss? Poverty. The deflated dollar. Good thing Wendy's has a 99 cent menu or I would have to take up a career in couture fashion or work as a superskinny (shudder) gallerina.

*I'm not that skinny. But skinny is relative.

I've been reading The Best American Nonrequired Reading. It's really good. Probably my favorite story so far is "Middle-American Gothic." In an article commissioned for Spin magazine, Jonathan Aimes (a professory sort) was sent to report on the first ever Gothicfest. Needless to say, things are learned, blood is consumed, period clothing is worn.

Another good read is a Joyce Carol Oates short story called "Magda Maria." I love me some Oates. My writing professor in college used to talk about her like she was a god. He claimed that she challenged him to a sprinting contest once. Joyce Carol Oates is really, really, skinny.

In my last synopsis I will plug Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. It is one of the finest things I have ever read. I read it twice then gave it to a special lady named Sarah Canright. Fun Home does what I always dreamed of doing, which is to combine elements of graphic storytelling and the graphic novel tradition (however new that may be) with classic literary tropes and prose. She does it oh so well.

SUBSTANTIAL BLOGPOST STOP.

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