Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Republicking!

Ok, I'm bringing more substance back to this blog (academic Project Runway denim dissection to take place tomorrow). You know what I'm excited about? Fucking Evangelicals. No, strike that, I mean that I'm excited about the Evangelicals being fucked in the election (not that I'm not into flagellation, grape juice cunnilingus and bible-gags). Who are they going to vote for? They won't vote for Rudy because of his left-leaning social policies. Plus, his record indicates that he hates babies. And babies are v. important to the Evvies. They can't vote for Mit Romney, because he's a Pagan. Everbody knows the Book of Mormon was written by a one-legged devil prostitute and that the Mormons are bloated alien transformers.
All that's left is crazypants Mike Huckabee (I spent a good hour perusing his site...shit gurl, he so crazy!) and John McCain, who has teeth like a fox. Did you know that Mike Huckabee lost like 100 lbs? And now he engages in sadomasochistic cardio kick-boxing? Acutally, he just runs marathons but that's boring. His wife looks like a hedgehog. And he hates gay people. And he has crazy eyes that look like moist prunes.

No comments: