This is my life:

1 hour consuming a pot of coffee mixed with Starbux cappuccinos purchased close-eyedly at my local corner store where I am known only as "Camel No. 9."
9 hours of cake-decorating-art-making.
1 hour in the tub getting that bullshit off my body.
1/2 hour of amateur massage therapy where I push really hard on the parts that hurt.
25 minutes surfing the net and deliberately not responding to anyone's emails/phone calls because I am an inconsiderate hobag (I'm sorry to all 3 of you).
1/2 trying to read McSweeney's then getting bored with it's hip, depressed, fiction writer logic.
1/2 hour fantasizing about bicycling down Bernenstrasse with my German love.

*Sadly, this schedule is ridiculously close to being exact.

P.S. I think my mom's getting married to Jonathan the vet. And my little tongue-pierced sister is suddenly more responsible than me. Ch-ch-ch-changes in the Fitzie clan. I think I need to even out the wholesomeness somehow. Hmmmmm...suicide bombing? Concubing? Baby-trafficking? Puppy suffocating? Obama assassinating?