Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Ug. I've been trying to apply for this Swiss residency all day, but my application keeps bouncing back because Herr Von Whatever's mailbox is full.
Damn, I was looking forward to yodeling, freak ski accidents and real rolexes.
In other news, Sasha came over yesterday, which is a relief because being alone in this house is giving me a serious case of the know like Willie Loman, Willie Mays, Willie Brimley and the like. Get out of my house, spirit of Willie Loman! Stop leaving wisps of trampled mediocrity all over the place! Stop feigning suicide in my kitchen sink!

*God, what was his son's name, Bane? Buck? Chickie?


I had a really pleasant evening. I went to Eastside Cafe with my Mommaz and her boy-toy, Jonathan the Vet. Risa and I thought maybe he could help out with her cat's health problems, but then decided that saying "Welcome to Austin, please drain my cat's abscess!" might be a bit weird. And not Austin weird either, although Momathan wants to do all things Austin like Barton Springs and bat stuff.

Momathan is so cute and is talking about taking a folk-dancing themed river cruise around Bulgaria. And I'm not making that up.

Then I went to Risa's new house for Rose's BDay celebration, which included beer and a dirty board game. Example of a winning phrase: "cousin-fucker."
Altogether, a beautiful night I think.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

I really hate change, and with my shows behind me I am forced to confront the unpleasant business of actually leaving. Example of said unpleasant business: My ever-faithful assistant and I scraped my studio floor for 7 hours today. I'm done trying to find creative ways to say thank you, because I'm just too indebted to her. But she's coming to visit me in Berlin and maybe I can find her some nice Deutschboy or something. I'm crying again, and I don't even know why. Maybe it's because I became very invested in the city, and in this community, and it's hard to say goodbye to that even though I may have become superficially indifferent to it. I didn't expect to be so sad about leaving, I'm a little surprised.
As a visual metaphor, please check out these tortured (and really fucking stupid) blood drawings by Babyshambles frontman Pete Dougherty.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I think this may be the funniest commercial I've ever seen:

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Had a lovely visit from Sasha Dela, who is one of my new favorites (sidenote: several of my old favorites have now been replaced by zingers, ho-ho's, and Sasha Dela). Did my talk at AMOA, which was fun, if fun=sweating a lot. I'm getting sad to leave everybody (all two of the people I still hang out with). Mostly though, I will miss my little students, and miss robbing them of their chaste artistic naiivete. Sniffle. I have less than a month left in Austin, and I think I'll just spend it being naughty. My momma and her boyfriend are coming next week so that she can participate in the Master's Swimming Nationals. She is a swimming superstar! Louganis?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Well, I've hit some kind of low. I ordered a Papa John's pizza just for myself and I'm watching the Lifetime film "Queen-Sized," about a portly young woman who overcomes all odds and all manner of Carrie-esque sabotaging to become Homecoming Queen. Awwwwwwwww. I'm simultaneously watching Tammy Ben-Tor's videos, which makes for an interesting comparison.

I think I'm going to give away all my books to my students as some sort of cleansing ritual. I'm tired of carrying around crap that I've already read (or at least perused).

Book-buying mistakes I've made:
Peculia and the Moon Grove Vampires: Comic I got in San Fran that I thought would have some sex and blood and stuff and instead was like a g-rated fangy grad school theatre project.
Complete Tales of Edgar Allan Poe: I love Poe, but multiple Poe stories in a row make my annoyance grow.
The Song of Eve: an illustrated journey into the rituals of the goddess: Uh, I don't know what I was thinking here. Apparently, I am a womyn in woman's clothes.

For some reason, I think it would be kind of scary and exhilarating to give away everything I own. Like a new lease on life! I could be Homecoming Queen like Nikki Blonsky on Lifetime!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Last night I watched Misery, which is a fine film that demands repeat viewings. I just can't get over Kathy Bates' fine nuanced performance. Maybe "nuanced" isn't the right word for a woman whose leg-breaking and zealous reciting of country proverbs bring to mind Pat Robertson or even John Waters' muse, Divine. Maybe awesomely melodramatic is the word. Or just awesome. Or kinda fat. Whatever.

Today, Carling took my installation shots, and I am very excited to have a talented photographer documenting my stuff. She took greats shots of Zimmermans show, and her own photos are really impressive medi-scapes, which I got to see at Southwestern yesterday.
Here is her flickr account:

I bought some cleaning supplies today and a bottle of resolve spilled everywhere, now my life smells spring-fresh.
I also began the massive process of cleaning my studio and filled 12 trash bags full of foam-core, cardboard and other non-nameable refuse. 12. trash. bags. Jesus.

Risa has basically moved out and now I am alone in a semi-furnished house and it is kind of eerie. Luckily, Ms. Sasha Dela is coming to stay sometime this week. She is also including me in some kind of movie, hopefully it's dirty so I can give myself a porn moniker. They say you just have to fuse your first dog's name with your old street name, in which case, mine would be "Dolly Woodride". No joke. Or, if we count my other, older dog, and my other, older street, "Sheba Sir Richard."

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Opening was fabulous, and I saw so many of my favorite folks, people I haven't seen or talked to in quite some time. And so many of my kids (past and present) came out for it, which was fucking adorable and made me feel warm and tingly.
I thoroughly enjoyed myself and thoroughly enjoyed the adulation and drinking almond champagne (thanks Jamie).
At the after-party, I became wildly intoxicated all at once, and made the interns take me to Thai Passion to sober up. It was delicious, but made me tired instead of making me walk upright. So, I went home. Relatively little debauchery was had in the end, but still it was a night worth remembering.
Today I am going to Georgetown with Arturo to see some more of my babies' work. And then tomorrow, I have to start dealing with the life shit I have been shelving away for so long. Sigh. Being a hermit has it's advantages.
Tomorrow Ms. Carling Hale is also taking installation shots, so I will try to post some for your enjoyments.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

It's storming outside and now I can't take my much anticipated bath because of my nude death phobia. Curse you Zeus!

My show is tomorrow!
I have a spiderbite on the side of my face....hello combover!
Someone is having a berfday party!
The Faculty Triennial is opening!
Cool bands are playing at Club DeVille!
Where will the night take me? Somewhere unsavory, I hope.

I'm reentering un-civilized society yet again. This time, for a while. Yes.
Thanks to Arturo, Risa, Mike Chesser, AlisonKuo, and LaurenCardenas for helping me execute and classify my show. Especially thanks to Lauren Cardenas, who has gone above and beyond the call of assistant duty to aid me in my Terry Gilliam like quest (see Lost in La Mancha, for a better idea). She has been my rational wingman, alerting me when my ideas and work process devolved into complete anarchy. And she tells me what glues to use and how to make things "archival." Who knew?

Like today, I could have used her as I reached into my purse, only to remember that I placed razor blades in the pocket for my exacto knife. Luckily, it was a minor poke, but quite startling nonetheless. I needed you to go in on an exploratory purse mission, Lauren, I needed you.

And thanks to my mom for making my little sister her maid of honor instead of me. Thanks, I didn't need that "honor" anyway.

Just kidding mommaz, you know I shirk most responsibilities and so will happily pass this one off.

And finally, good night to you all.
Ok, now I'm really done I think.

One of my BFFFs Sarah Lasley just had her MFA show at Yale. Here is one of her videos, and I shall preface your viewing by telling you that we were roommates at Skowhegan and I believe the following cinematic adventure is based on our relationship. Except she was the psycho one, and not me. I didn't borrow your clothes Sarah I swear!

*I did borrow her clothes.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Still almost done. Need to rehang some stuffs and buy an all-gold outfit for the opening. In world news: Leave Barack alone! He just said what everyone knows is true. Pennsylvanians=gun-toting, bible-verse-espousing, oil splattered yokels.
And watching Hilary act blue collar by downing a shot of "Crown Royal" at a local bar was really funny. Give it up Hils. I was recently accused of being a sloppy feminist because of my Obama preference but whatevers, at least he drinks real things.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Almost done installing. I was going to do a podcast of the installation, but it would probably just be me crying a lot and verbally abusing people.

Big ups (?) to AlisontheIntern and LaurenCardenastheIntern for helping me hang. I gave them some beer and a discarded finger I sculpted out of play-doh, but I feel I owe them more, like my unborn child, or at least some kind of pricey internal organ they can hawk on the black market for Vicodin money.

I started crying today (I think it's the stress...and impending mensies!) and I felt bad for Arturo as he tried to comfort me to no avail. It was the first time I've cried in few months---the last time was an at-home viewing of Akeelah and the Bee.

Anyway, it felt really good. Sometimes crying is ok. Lesson learned, deity of catharsis (Sally Struthers?) lesson learned.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Last night Risa, Britton, Rose and I played the SNL edition of Trivial Pursuit. We were all weened on SNL, yet could not answer unbelievable questions like this:

"What everyday object, packaged with a rubber band, did Irwin Mainway sell for 6.95 as a Johnny Space Commander Mask Halloween costume?

Also, Art Palace is neither an Art nor a Palace, discuss amongst yourselves.

*Email me secretly for the answer and I'll have a big prize (Jeff Koons porn poster) for whoever is geekblood enough to get that.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Gawd, I need to curb my insomnia. I keep waking up puffy-eyed and barfy.
Right now I am looking up work that I hate online so I can post about it and figure out why I hate it. I'm trying to pare down my aesthetic, you know transcend my openmindedness and become more streamlined in my dislike of things.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Belated thoughts.

I'm a little late on this, but I liked TDH's ballet a lot. It just made a lot of sense (absurdly logical?) and was kind of inspiring as it showed the possibilities of really fluid, seamless collaboration. I also got to meet and talk with Graham Reynolds, the composer (I hear you're working with him too Shannon), and I have a total musicrush on him. See ZimZam's blog for a more thorough assessment of the show.

Also, seems like Till Richter's getting some spicy dick feedback on Glasstire after his 20 to Watch review. sigh. The review didn't really do much for me, and I agree with a lot of the criticism about his weird anti-Matthew Rodrigiuez diatribe, but insulting someone personally (i.e. "your face is ugly") is just stupid.
but I keep forgetting to link reviews for AMOA, so here are a few: Lozano and ...might be good wrote reviews that mostly deal with the shortcomings of a curated group show based on geography...they raised some good questions, and Claire Rudd offers some possible solutions in her last paragraph (like having a CAM-type project space which I think is a gooood idea). Jeanne-Claire wrote a recent one that I like the best because I'm actually in it and I'm vain like that yo.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

My old Skowheganmate Gabe opened a comic shop in Williamsburg that sounds fucking incredible. Czech it.
Also, as soon as I figure out the technology, I am going to start doing video podcasts as I think they are the waaaaave of the fuuuuuture (slightly spooky intonation---see if I did a video podcast I wouldn't have to actually specify my tone in writing). And maybe some internet Daddy Warbux will pay me for my wisdom and aging child-star good looks. Hopefully I'll have it down by the time I go to Berlin so I can linger creepily in everyone's computer.

Things I will discuss on my podcast: Hospitals. Art. Sex. Television. Movies. Naughty things. Gender deviance. Rich people.

I'm very excited about this.
Just got back from the hospital, where I spent all day nursing baby Arturo, who incurred a severe sprain last night while imitating Rick Flair. Hospitals are weird and awful, and I was wearing the same hookerish outfit I wore last night to Trenton's ballet.

And yet, my day in the emergency room was oddly fun. I mean, the bureaucracy is so ridiculous and the hospital staff are alternately patronizing and/or unpleasant. Arturo had this "brodude" of a doctor, who high-fived him after the x-ray came back and his ankle wasn't broken. He high-fived him!

I'm telling you right now it was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I sprawled out on the hospital bed while they did x-rays and someone commented that I should "make myself at home." I did, Brackenridge, I really did. This one nurse was so unhappy and rude that I couldn't help but laugh as she chided Arturo for his inflexibility. I also had to push Arturo around in a wheelchair and tried very hard to run him into nurses and laypeople. Without results unfortunately. Arturo also received Vicodin, and I was given one for my unflinching loyalty and my whimsical sense of wheelchair play.

Friday, April 04, 2008

this is one of the more bizarre articles I've read lately:

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I let the kids out early and I'm losing my mind. But here's my press-release:

"Swan School; The Matriculation"

Please join us Friday, April 18th (8-10pm) as Art Palace presents Swan School; The Matriculation, Ali Fitzgerald's second solo exhibition at Art Palace. Fitzgerald's current body of work explores victimization and violence within a forged adolescent caste-system. Through drawing based sculptures, dioramas and site-specific installations Fitzgerald surveys a dystopian boarding school complex, within whose misleading facades, we see residue of girlhood gone awry.

In Swan School, Fitzgerald turns to the emotionally charged ostentation of the Gothic, referencing movies like Robert Wise's The Haunting, in which the undulating spaces themselves reflect a character's psychological state. Her architecturally impossible facades allude to both privileged east coast boarding schools and to the supposedly solemn naves of old cathedrals. These structures house and protect fantastic scenarios involving Fitzgerald's imprisoned character Sad Little White Girl and her tormentors.

Swan School; The Matriculation
is on view from April 18th through May 21st, 2008. Art Palace is located at 2109 E. Cesar Chavez St. (next door to Taqueria Chapala) between Chicon and Robert Martinez. Gallery Hours: Saturday noon to 5pm, Wednesday 7-9pm or by appointment. For further information or images, please contact the gallery at 512.496.0687 or

About the Artist

Ali Fitzgerald's work is currently on view at the Austin Museum of Art for 20 to Watch and Road Agent's Palace does Dallas. Her work has been exhibited at Diverseworks for New Texas Painting (2005) and Luck of the Draw (2007), Arthouse at the Jones Center for Siren's Song (2007), curated by Kelly Baum, and Who Killed Chuck Tracy? at The Bungalow Project in San Antonio (2006). Her dioramas have recently been featured in Art In America and Beautiful/Decay. Receiving her MFA in Studio Art from the University of Texas at Austin in 2007, Ali received her BA from Davidson College and attended Skowhegan School of Painting and Sculpture (2004). She was awarded a Takt Residency position in Berlin, Germany in 2007.

Art Palace
Art Palace is an exhibition space dedicated to presenting the work of emerging and established contemporary artists in a professional yet casual environment. The gallery's vision includes collaborating with guest curators and writers to investigate and engage in new art. Since opening its doors in the summer of 2005, it has garnered regional and national attention from, Art News, artnet, Art in America and The New York Times.