Thursday, May 08, 2008

I have a serious case of the blues. I'm hungover and angsty and am simultaneously indulging in my melancholy and chastising myself for being so weak and selfish. I wasn't really happy with my artist's talk because I was fucking petrified at the sight of 30 people sitting and staring at me. Honestly I felt 13 again (but maybe this self-aware awkwardness was appropriate). Afterwards, I wanted to retire to my room and play Nirvana really loud and scream obscenities at my mom.

Then, a bunch of people talked about politics which, even with the current primary excitement, I find to be chillingly depressing.
Then Nathan, Julie and I went swimming and I wore wet clothes for far too long. I am a wet blanket in wet clothes and I smell like Teen Spirit. Nathan said it could be alcohol-induced depression hangover, which as a term and as a thought, only makes me more depressed.

Sidenote: Ivan and I hung out with Kate Horsfield the other night and that was really fun and awesome. Kate seems like an amazing woman and artist who's accomplished quite a bit. She and Ivan discussed Sadie Benning and her pixelvision camera, so I re-watched some of her early videos and fell in love all over again.


Axel said...

Those were 30 of freakiest people in the austin art scene and any one of them might have lunged at you with something sharp and jagged had they sensed your fear. Arturo was wise to cut it off when he did.

jasper said...

Is it so wrong to have a couple of drinks before facing 30 people, you know, to cut down the nerves? I hope I'm just a coward and not an alcoholic.

P.S. don't scream at mini monk