Friday, June 20, 2008

One of my favorite things about being in a city is the subway. I love the subway.

Here are some things I saw on the subway today:

-Spanish-speaking twin boys with matching Nascar backpacks and German flags painted on their faces. It was like the U.N. exploded all over their little bodies.

-Some beautiful German woman sharing her pickled herring snacks with like the entire subway car. It was tender, but more than a little gross.

-Two GIANT men dressed like Sid Vicious sat next to me. I kept stealing glances, not just because of their punk'd out attire, but because they were GIANT. Like, where do you find subgenre clothing like that when you're huge? Big, Tall and Unafraid of Death?

-I also saw a man about my age playing a gameboy circa 1992. It made me so nostalgic for the days I wasted with my square, gray friend. I named him gameboy.

-There are several smells distinctive to Berlin, one of them was wafting everywhere in the subway today: it is the smell of warm croissants, cheap soap and piss.

To clarify my anti-beauracracy rant:

-I can get a job freelance teaching English (quite easily as a matter of fact), but I need a Work Visa to do so.

-I need a freelance English teaching job to get a Work Visa.

-I want an apartment, so I can get a residence permit.

-I need a residence permit to get an apartment.

See the Dilemma? It's like a fucking riddle. I feel like I'm in Labryinth inside that giant Fucking peach/bubble dancing with David Bowie while he speaks nonsense and rubs his Euro-manbag all over me. What fucking baby, David?!!! What fucking baby?!!

*If only.

A private Berlin School wanted to hire me to be a 3rd grade teacher, but informed me that the Berlin Senate would have to look at all my English-teaching courses and approve me. Um, the Berlin Senate? Wtf Germany? I'm cute and American! I'm entitled to do whatever I want! Give me things!

2 comments:

Axel said...

I predict that you'll get some sort of job and apartment sans bureaucracy and then get your work visa and residence permit. This comes with a risk of imprisonment and deportation but just act confident and rely on your good looks.

Alison said...

Note taken! I hate living in terror though. I already feel like the stasi is watching me and shit.