Willi put me on the guest list for the International Porn Festival afterparty, it wasn't nearly as debaucherous as I thought it would be, but here are some things I saw/did:

*Willi tended the bar in a scandalous unitard, with a really creative zipper running in all sorts of irrational directions.

*There were women (mostly Americans I might add) who donned pasties, had mohawks, and handed out sex-themed goodies and gum for 50 cents.

*There was a large plastic-coated bed in the center of the bar/warehouse, which apparently was well-used in past nights. Last night people (including myself) just stood on it to see the "Porn Karaoke." Luckily, one cannot get Gonorrhea through one's feet.

*"Porn Karaoke!" Enough said. My introduction to this particular art form made the whole thing worth it. The stars were a Brasilian couple who displayed impressive range with their homemade horror porn movies. I especially enjoyed some of the close-ups, so cinematic, totally Fellini-esque.

Afterward, I went to the "Ping-Pong Bar," a favorite of Vice readers and the superhip to hear my roommate DJ. This bar was really cool. the centerpiece was obviously a very large ping-ping table, with Germans rotating around it commie-style. Germans are v. good at ping-pong and even have ping-pong tables set up in public parks. The kicker: the tables are made of concrete. Hail Mother Russia!