Wednesday, January 28, 2009

First Question: When will the Winter of my not-really-discontent, but mild discomfort end?

My class informed me today that February is as cold and assholey as January.
Aside: I can't believe you hit on my sister January. I thought you were cool...but that was totally uncool...totally uncool.

After they alerted me of this protracted Winter, I had an instant urge to strangle myself with my hideous thigh dungeons. My Lycra sausage casing leg cells. My solitary calf-finement vehicles. My Ladyparts prison?
*"Long underwear" is what I was going for.

Second question: Is Hilary Swank hot?

I know what you think January...stupid asshole with a Chevy...all checking out my sister and Hilary Swank and passing off your douchebag torch to February. That's my month! My birthday's inside of it!


Axel said...

Stay warm. Hypothermia can lead to paradoxical undressing.

Anonymous said...

Who are you referring to "hit on me"?